A Girl, her Ego and a Car

 

You see, my ego likes to take charge. She has been in the drivers seat my entire life. There is nothing she loves more then to wave to all the people…a huge smile on her face. Hear how awesome she is doing driving that car… thanking the kind people for their compliments. And feeling the eyes and ears of those she comes across all on her…sitting up just a little bit straighter in her seat when she feels that attention. 

And what about the days when she drives around and no one is looking at her, no one sees her, smiles at her, yells her name…she looks around on the streets craving the attention and there is no one there to give it to her.  She slumps down into her seat, puts her head down and cries. She has made her entire life about the outside world.  Her job is to make the outside world safe for me and she takes her job very seriously!

I sit in the back seat watching all of this… my entire life I have felt the rollercoaster of emotions that my ego takes me on. Its not her fault. This is her job. She is here to protect me and make me feel good. And she has done a great job…but she is tired…and I am ready…and I am growing into my light. 

As the back seat of my car gets brighter and brighter my ego gets louder and louder. You see she hasn't seen that kind of light her whole life and she is getting consumed by the light. She is beginning to feel unseen, unheard and driving the car is becoming more difficult. its hard to drive when you are blinded by the light. 

My Higher Self is sitting next to me in the backseat and moves gently up to the front, pats my ego on the head…gives her a huge hug and tells her its ok..she can relax now, she has done a great job and she can breath.…my ego looks up at my higher self and begins to cry, she is seen and loved for just being her and she slowly unbuckles her seat belt and gracefully moves to the back seat although weary that someone can drive this car better then her.

I move to the front Seat, fasten my seat belt and begin to drive my own car for the first time with my Higher Self sitting in the passengers seat… and it feels good. I look in the rear view mirror and I see my ego. She is a bit uncomfortable, not sure I know what I am doing, can I handle the traffic, the noise, the busy streets and people yelling…but I do, I can and I will. She raises her voice a few times, perhaps some would call it a temper tantrum, making sure I canstill see her, hear her that she still has importance in my life.  I smile at her through the rear view mirror, she sees me seeing her and she slows her breathing down.  I notice the side of her lip move up as if to smile at me. She is allowing the being I came down here to be to begin to drive the car. She is slowly understanding. 

So, as it goes today, I am in the front seat navigating this new view. My higher self is in the passenger seat,  guiding me with her light and my beautiful ego is in the back learning patience, trust and compromise. 

The three of us are going to be ok.